Distance makes the heart grow fonder…

As we gear up for my husband’s deployment, I started thinking about the paradigm shift our house will go through without him around. The dynamic of our home will change, and everyone will feel a piece missing. In the moments of anticipation, I started thinking about families that feel a similar shift in their home, even if it’s not related to the military. There are so many that have missing pieces because loved ones have to leave for extended periods of time, or don’t live close by. As a spouse, I know how tough it can be for me when Chris is gone, but I cannot imagine how difficult it is for my kids to navigate it, as young as they are. So I started to research meaningful gifts, books, and resources that he could give them that would make the distance feel less… well, distant.

Recordable book options

These are one of the most intentional gifts loved ones can give a child

When I think Hallmark, I typically think “warm and fuzzy” feelings. Christmas cards and movies, unique gifts that evoke emotions of nostalgia and affection. I started there, and found this wonderful Recordable Book. The voices of our loved ones hold special places in our hearts. You hear expecting parents speak to the baby bump so their unborn child can know them by their voice. This special book carries that connection, even through the absence and distance. Books are always a great way to connect with our kids with intention. And this one helps soothe children when their parents are away by bridging the gap with their loved one’s voice.

I have to say, the LOOP community has been such a huge help in putting this list of resources together! I’m so grateful for the way we rally together. This village we’ve built is unlike any other. Another unique reading experience for story-telling is the Chameleon Reader! You can turn any of your regular books into audio books for your kids! Which is great for car rides and other instances when you can’t physically read the book to them. The Chameleon Reader is creating a hands-free moment for the parents… which is *chef’s kiss*. You can also add SEVERAL different voices to the book. So grandma, mom, dad can all share in the story time fun. It’s great for the kids, too, because they use a little wand to follow along themselves! So interesting! Watch this video to learn more about it.

Military Books for kids

These are our favorites

In the days before deployment, it is so important for us to soak up every single second we can creating memories together. Those moments are what help carry us through to the end of the separation. Sena Nelson’s book, Today Should Be Enjoyed, teaches children to treasure the moments with their parent that has to be away to serve our country. It’s easy to miss joyful moments when you’re anticipating a separation and distance. Personally, this is something I struggle so bad with , and the last couple weeks have been an emotional DOOZY. I love the idea of not passing this specific gene to my kids, because I want them to appreciate the time we do get, so this is a really great book for them and me!

It’s no surprise that books for military families are special because they are creating closeness, even when there is physical distance. Hunter really enjoys books about the Army because it teaches him about his Dad’s job and what he’s doing when he is away. I’ve tried to find a few that are easy for me (and by “easy”, I mean “short”) because nothing is worse than a drawn out bedtime. The books also need to be easy for him to follow, because no one likes being abandoned by their kid mid-bonding-moment because they’re bored. If I lose his attention, he’ll miss out on vital information that he needs during deployments. Children in military families need to know that their parents are helping protect our freedoms at home, and Hero Dad, by Melinda Hardin is a great one that we have read nearly 100 times it helps me explain to him where daddy is and how he is a hero. It also relates to them on a personal level, by teaching them that “heroes” aren’t just portrayed in movies. Hero Dad creates a respect for their parent’s job. Heroes exist, and some even live in our homes when they’re not out protecting the world!

Books on Separation and Distance from Loved Ones for Younger Audiences:

Next on the list there is When We Are Apart, by Becca Johnsey. One of our own wrote this book! I love books written by families who have walked the same path we have, because I know it will be specific to my children and what they need. She sent it to me because she thought it would help my kids with all the training up ahead, and thankfully she was right! We love this book! This is a sweet storybook that rhymes, and helps remind them about all the feelings that come with a parent being gone and tools to handle it. It really taught Hunter what a deep breath was! I think it is very important for our kids to learn to acknowledge their emotions. This resource will teach them how to name them AND communicate them. And cutting down on incoherent meltdowns will be a big hep to me while their dad is away! Naming emotions is a hard skill to learn, so being intentional with resources that discuss being separated from loved ones is a tremendous help!

And lastly on our “book tour” for our precious kiddos is The Invisible String, by Patrice Karst. This book paints a beautiful picture of the connection between children and their loved ones. The story illustrates how the connection remains strong, even when they are missing someone. The Invisible String is part of an entire series, teaching kids that love can overcome separation and the loneliness that accompanies that separation.

More unique gifts that are equally as intentional as books:

Speaking of recordable items, another great one is TONIES! These are great for catchy songs and learning, but then I found out that they have figurines of different characters. So cute! Another great aspect of Tonies is the ability to record from the downloadable app (too easy!), and change the recordings frequently. I think this is a genius way to let your kids know you’re thinking of them, even from far away!

As I moved away from books and started looking for other ideas I knew my kids would love, I found Hug-A-Hero Dolls. The creators of Hug-A-Hero Dolls (and other incredible products) have personal experience watching their children struggle with the emotions of deployment. In searching for remedies, they created these special dolls. Its basically a pillow with a picture of their DAD! Children love to snuggle, especially when they are upset, so this is a perfect way make it feel like their hero is right there to soothe them. You simply send them a clear photo of your hero, and they can create a doll from it. So many military families have expressed their gratitude for this company and said their kids love it! I can’t wait to get ours, we are going to give them to the kids for Christmas.

When loved ones are away, they cannot always communicate in the moment. Lovebox Color & Photo and Love Note Messenger changes the long distance game! I actually bought this for Chris for our anniversary so he could take it overseas! It will just be a different way to communicate and have some fun. Pair it with an app (the app is free in the app store), and you can send/receive messages to and from someone that you are missing! Having new ways to communicate in a creative and intentional way means so much when there is distance between you and someone that you love. Knowing that they are far away, and they stopped to create a special message is enough to make anyone feel adored, even during long stretches of separation.

As a family that understands how hard being separated can be, I am so happy to be able to share these resources to help families like us. It truly does take a village to successfully parent our little ones, so I hope that these items help you navigate parenting through distance.